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Essays In Love

Essays In Love

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De Botton was the one who made me realise that my soulmate was a sensitive mindreader who knew instinctively what I needed and when without my having to say a single word. The 103 third parties who use cookies on this service do so for their purposes of displaying and measuring personalized ads, generating audience insights, and developing and improving products.

I just wanted something a bit happier, this is maybe a more truthful look at love, more realistic, less romantic.I know I wouldn’t reject someone if they reciprocated my feelings solely on the basis of them loving me. I wonder whether De Botton would have written a very different book today, at the age of 40, than when this was written in his early 20's?

How could they be divine as we had hoped when they have the bad taste to approve of someone like us? While gripping the reader with the talent of a great novelist, de Botton brings a philosopher's sensibility to his analysis of the emotions of love, resulting in a genre-breaking book that is at once touching and thought-provoking. I was astounded that de Botton was only twenty-one when he wrote this book because, wow, the amount of maturity and insight this book has. I felt like a dandelion releasing hundreds of spores into the air - and not knowing if any of them would get through. It may be a sign that two people have stopped loving one another (or at least stopped wishing to make the effort that constitutes ninety per cent of love) when they are no longer able to spin differences into jokes.The book charts the progress of a love affair from the first kiss to argument and reconciliation, from intimacy and tenderness to the onset of anxiety and heartbreak. If self-hatred gains the upper hand, then the one who has received love will declare that the beloved (on some excuse or other) is not good enough for them (not good enough by virtue of associating with no-goods). The book has attracted a particular following among those who have recently fallen in love ­- or come out of a relationship. Nevertheless I enjoyed the book, I think the fruit of it's use will become more apparent when I next have a relationship, it's certainly a book that stays with you. What’s difficult is to reconcile these two warring sides inside my head–one which says I shouldn’t have love and another that stubbornly insists I should.

So, to have it written that even the best relationships don’t have that element of complete vulnerability was heartening. I would have benefitted SO much from knowing about how love works and that so many of the things I felt weren’t abnormal at all (hell no am I talking to anyone about that stuff).

I’m also very good at nursing grudges so that and my disappointed idealism are a devastating combination. If someone thinks I am shy, I will probably end up shy, if someone thinks me funny, I am likely to keep cracking jokes. Similar to how various masks are worn when interacting with different people, de Botton argues that even in a romantic relationship, you can’t expect to expose every part of yourself to a lover. And if you start off hating them, there's always the chance you'll end up thinking they're all right.

That made me want to realign my goal for beauty (which is, currently, stuck in an Audrey Hepburn-esque body) to being associated with warmth and kindness and comfort. I am more than aware of the numerous red flags that stick out of my back and I’m certain there are more that I’m not even conscious of. There’s an essay on how uncomfortable it can be to disagree with a lover’s taste in shoes and a lengthy discussion about the role of guilt in love. Then, on holiday, Chloe reveals she doesn’t like being with him anymore and has been seeing his colleague, Will. Everyone will undoubtedly relate to the different stages of the relationship, from initial uncomfortable exchanges, charged with expectation, to the concern that you are more involved than your object of desire.

We understand that sometimes an item arrives and it’s not quite suitable for what you needed it for - no problem. The most attractive are not those who allow us to kiss them at once [we soon feel ungrateful] or those who never allow us to kiss them [we soon forget them], but those who coyly lead us between the two extremes. And I’m pretty damn certain that all of us could do with hearing how much we are loved simply for being ourselves.



  • Fruugo ID: 258392218-563234582
  • EAN: 764486781913
  • Sold by: Fruugo

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